The Silent Weight: Pressure of Responsibilities and Expectations

 

Growing up, we all carry invisible backpacks — not filled with books or gadgets, but something far heavier: expectations and responsibilities. For many students like me, this invisible burden doesn't just weigh on our shoulders; it shapes our thoughts, controls our choices, and sometimes... crushes our spirit. 

“Beta, tumse bahut umeedein hain. ”

A sentence every Indian student has heard at least once in life. It sounds simple, maybe even loving. But when repeated constantly, it becomes a haunting echo that never leaves your mind. I remember hearing it after every exam, every competition, every family gathering — as if my entire worth was measured by how well I fulfilled my parents’ checklist.

The Burden of Being "The Ideal Child"

We’re told to study hard, behave perfectly, never argue, always respect elders, become engineers or doctors, make the family proud, never make mistakes, and above all — never fail. The idea of success becomes a standard we didn’t choose, but are expected to meet flawlessly.

I’m not saying parents don’t love us. They do — deeply. But sometimes, their version of love is mixed with fear, comparison, societal pressure, and a desperate need to see their sacrifices turn into results through us. They don’t realize that while they want the best for us, sometimes they forget to ask what’s best for us — from our point of view.

When Expectations Turn Into Anxiety

I remember nights where I couldn’t sleep, staring at the ceiling, replaying my parents' words in my mind:

• “Don’t waste our hard-earned money.”

• “What will relatives say?”

• “We didn’t get opportunities like you have. Don’t throw them away.”

• “You have to succeed.”

These words sound normal to many, but to me, they were like chains. I started tying my worth to my marks. If I scored 87%, the first question was always, “What happened to the other 13%?” Not a celebration of my hard work, but a reminder of how I didn’t meet perfection.

There were times I felt like screaming, “Can I just breathe for a moment? Can I fail once without feeling like I’m a disappointment?"s

But I never did. Like most students, I wore a smile and kept performing.

Being the Eldest — The Default Role Model

As the eldest child, the pressure is even worse. You're not just a student; you’re a silent leader, a second parent, a role model, a bridge between generations. I had to set examples for my younger siblings. I had to behave maturely even when I felt broken inside. I had to hold back my tears because “crying shows weakness.”

No one asked if I was okay. They just assumed I had it together.

Guilt — The Unseen Monster

What makes all of this even harder is guilt. You know your parents struggled. You know they didn’t have the luxuries you have. You’ve ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;seen their sleepless nights, their compromises, their dreams that never took flight. And that guilt makes you push yourself — sometimes beyond your mental capacity.

Even when I wanted to pursue something creative like writing or music, guilt whispered, “How can you be selfish? They didn’t work this hard for you to become an artist.” So I chose a career they approved of, not one that made my soul dance.

The Isolation Nobody Talks About

What hurts the most is that while you’re surrounded by expectations, you often feel completely alone. You can’t talk to your friends — because they’re going through the same thing and don’t want to seem weak. You can’t talk to your parents — because you’re afraid they’ll call you ungrateful. So, you stay silent.

And that silence becomes a habit.

When the Pressure Becomes Too Much

Some days I genuinely didn’t want to wake up. Not because I was lazy or unmotivated, but because I was tired — mentally, emotionally, spiritually. It’s not just about marks or degrees. It’s about constantly proving your worth, even to the people who claim to love you unconditionally.

There’s a line between healthy motivation and toxic pressure — and many parents unknowingly cross it. What begins as encouragement becomes emotional blackmail.

What I Wish Parents Understood

• We’re trying. Even if we don’t show it the way you expect, we’re doing our best.

• Your unspoken disappointment hurts more than loud scoldings.

• Not every child is born to become a doctor, engineer, or IAS officer.

• Mental health is real. If we seem distant, angry, or withdrawn — it’s not ‘attitude’. We might be drowning.

• We don’t need you to solve everything. Sometimes we just want you to listen without judgment.

• Our dreams may look different — but that doesn’t make them any less valuable.

To Every Student Out There: You Are Not Alone

If you’re reading this and nodding your head, I want you to know that you are not weak. You are not a failure. You are a human being trying to survive in a world that often forgets how heavy expectations can be.

Speak up. Find someone to talk to. Write it out. Cry if you need to. And most importantly — don’t lose yourself in trying to meet someone else’s version of success.

To My Parents (If They Ever Read This)

I love you. I respect everything you’ve done. But please understand — I’m not just a project to be completed. I’m your child. Let me grow, even if my path looks different. Let me breathe. Let me fall and learn. Let me live my truth, not just your dreams. and please just stop calling me careless i am giving my best to make u happy . but now everything feels like a burden and i just wanna be free of it , and only one step can do it .

Because at the end of the day, I don’t just want to make you proud. I want to be happy while doing it.